Trauma, Fragmented minds, the number 11 and the path to self mastery

The number 11 has long been associated with duality, balance, and the thin veil between dimensions, but what if it this symbolism extends deeper into the human psyche? I believe the number 11 mirrors the susceptibility of the human mind to fragment under the weight of trauma.

I know that I am not psychic. I believe that Psychics and mediums are real but that I am not one. But in 2012, I tapped into the astral realm, and can since then, and for a Taurus Sun this was destabilizing and tew much. I have had spirals, crash outs and a scary moment of psychosis earlier this year in 2024.

I realized during this era that I was receiving information due to the fragmentation of my mind due to severe sexual trauma and humiliation before I was 7. But this is not a blog on my traumatic experience.. it is a blog on what I learned about what happened to me and what has been happening to me. And if anyone relates to this, I want to let you know that you are going to be okay and the path to self mastery is one of grace rather than self hate, blame or shame.

This fragmentation, often triggered by trauma and the un resolving of deep emotional wounds, opens a doorway—both in the individual and the collective consciousness—that external entities can exploit.

These forces thrive on chaos, perpetuated by societal tools like addictive substances, processed foods, and toxic habits that keep us disconnected from our higher selves. In this blog, I’ll explore how trauma, symbolized by the splitting energy of 11, is utilized as a tool for control and how recognizing this can empower us to reclaim sovereignty over our minds and souls.

This realization was both liberating and unsettling. I began to see how my fractured mind created openings—gateways—that allowed me to perceive realms others might never experience. What once felt like a curse became a complex gift, though not one without its dangers. The same fragmentation that allowed me to connect with higher dimensions also left me vulnerable to lower-vibrational forces. It was during this time that I started piecing together how trauma, like the one I endured before the age of 7, isn’t just a personal wound but a mechanism exploited on a larger scale. This opened my eyes to the ways trauma fragments the collective consciousness, making individuals and societies susceptible to manipulation—whether through inter dimensional interference, societal conditioning, or unhealthy coping mechanisms like addictive substances and behaviors.

I still struggle with substance abuse and food addiction myself—a battle that feels deeply intertwined with the unseen forces I’ve come to understand. One clear sign that an entity is feeding off me is my avoidance of anything that exposes the harm of processed foods or substance abuse. It’s as if a part of me is programmed to resist confronting the truth, a defense mechanism for the very forces that thrive on my self-destruction. When I became conscious of this dynamic, I realized that the true battle lies in the fight for mastery.

Every time I give myself even a small space between indulgence and abstinence, I notice an intense resistance—a desperate push from the entity to keep using my body as its vessel.

This struggle isn’t just about willpower; it’s a spiritual warfare that requires patience, awareness, and grace as I work to reclaim my sovereignty.

I also began to understand how my emotional states play a role in feeding these entities.

This realization came to me as I explored the connection between the seven sins and the zodiac signs, a concept I shared in my youtube on the topic. It was a revelation that shifted my perspective—not to judge myself, but to assess which sin or shadow had the strongest grip on me. For me, it was rage.

Recognizing this allowed me to see myself not as a flawed person, but as a victim of forces designed to keep me trapped.

I came to understand that the sins and shadows are seductive, offering a false sense of power or comfort that is difficult to resist.

Breaking free from their hold requires self-forgiveness and grace—an ongoing process of acknowledging the grip they have while choosing, moment by moment, to reclaim my power.

I believe there are others out there like me—those who, through their own fragmented experiences, have developed the ability to traverse these unseen realms. This isn’t just a burden but also a calling, a gift that enables us to navigate the darkness and guide others back to the light and clarity. We are bridges between worlds, capable of understanding both the pain and the profound truths hidden within it. Our journeys equip us to help others confront their shadows, reclaim their sovereignty, and step into their full power. I’ve come to see that what makes us different isn’t our trauma but how we choose to alchemize it into something meaningful for ourselves and those we’re meant to help.

But first, we must commit to radical self-care. All of this understanding—the fragmentation, the shadows, and the battle for mastery—illuminates why taking care of our emotional, physical, and mental health is so vital. As we navigate the dark, it’s all too easy to become lost in it or consumed by its weight. To truly serve as guides for others, we must first learn to regulate ourselves, creating stability and resilience within. This means prioritizing practices that nourish and heal us, so we can stand strong amidst the chaos. Only when we have tended to our own well-being can we begin to lead others out of their darkness and into the light.